a blog full of no content

And so many thoughts swirling around in my head. Thinking about things that have been said to me, people that I've seen, cruel words, kind words, questions, aspirations, commitments, failures, what it is that I really want. 

Maybe I am not focused enough, maybe I want more solidity in my life. I am feeling (again) like I want to start my own life, I want my own apartment and my own garden and my own kitty and my own lover, I want to make things with my hands, to feel grounded and content, to feel like I have an anchor to my life, to not feel like a child, depending on other people any more. 

But at the same time I am so happy with what I have here, Spain, my ever increasing and improving Spanish, the friends I have made that I will have for forever, the freedom, the carelessness of being almost 21 and sexy. The growing realization that it is incredibly true that the more I see, the less I know. I am yearning, yet again, for what I do not have, and I am forgetting to step back and survey all that I do have. What I have is a brain in my head, muscles in my body, and a heart in my chest, and soles on my feet, and with these things I am content. 

I will always strive, for one thing or for another, but right now, what needs to be striven for is the nourishing of that peace that is found in the nooks and crannies of my body, the recesses and labyrinths of my soul, the steady beating of my heart, because fear is taking over me, and this I cannot tolerate.

...you should go read apricot tea...

when internetz are not to be found...

...I photoshop lame things like this:

I actually really really suck at using photoshop, even after having a class on how to use it. 

I bought a dress yesterday from Mango for $even euros (whooo rebajas!!) which somehow reminds me of this type of galaxy photo, even though it's like faded blue stretchy material, which actually should probably remind me of the 90's rather than stars. Whatever. 

On an unrelated note, I think you should go check out ALEX'S BLOG, because he has a funny question posted, and you should comment on it, because I want to know what you think too. Oh kay? Oh kay.

EDIT: I am fully HTML/computer/technology retarded, I just figured out how to make my images bigger when I post, and it made me really giddy and happy for a second, before I realized that in fact I am retarded for not figuring this out earlier. Whoopsy. Anyway, enjoy.

I want summer & pink hair

this photo has nothing to do with anything, other than the fact that I like it, and would wear that outfit. summer please? also, I found it saved on my computer, so if you know the credits tellllll me.

It always ends up that I have some great idea, like dying my hair light light light pink, or cutting it into a teensy little pixie cut, but am too scared to do it at first. Then, wouldn't you know, that very trend shows up in magazines, and blogs, and runways, and is 'so trendy', and then I don't want to do it because I don't want to follow mofuckin' trends. BUT I still cut my hair into a teensy pixie cut like 2 years ago or whatever, and now I think I may as well dye my hair pink. I mean, I always talk about doing shit for like 3 years before doing it, so maybe I should wait another year, until the trends have died down, and then do it? Anyway, all of this silly muttering is completely unnecessary, I am just the most indecisive person in the universe, as Alex knows.

On an unrelated note, I miss writing on this bloggifer, don't you miss reading my pointless ramblings?

oh yeah hell yeah

I want black-magenta lips.

via cosmic dust

a woman who kicks the ass of all other women

my momma, when she was 18, walking across the USA in the name of the environment and native peoples.

my mother is (one of) the strongest, most peaceful, adventurous, hippyest, lovingest, best women I have ever known. Thank you momma, for being who you are, and making me who I am.

killing it

the sartorialist seems to be killing it lately, in the best way possible. usually I am not a huge fan of the style of outfits he shoots, but there are some badass looks from milano right now. I sorta want to wear this outfit while simultaneously marrying this guy, while he's wearing this outfit. sexy sexy italians.

fridaze

yes please

let's go get our nipples pierced.

via.

wearing black&causing trouble

it's the only thing i've been doing lately.

via.

i like your body girl

I want to be this chick. She's got it goin onnn.

via fatale femmes

i need this

(.)

seriously guys, i need this ring. fuck. first i need a job. or donations. hahaa.

'nuther fucking level

Dear Cami and Nadia,

Why do you have to be so fucking cool? To say I am jealous of you would be an understatement and also creepily fangirlish, so I'm not going to say anything. I'm just wondering, where did you get your badassness? I would like some of it, and also those red boots with the huge wedge and heel. While you're at it, can I have some of the clothes you make/have? I'll model them for free, or something. This letter is now verging on the unbearably creepy, so I'm done.

Peace,

Creepy Fangirl

your perspective is boring me

just the right amount of weird.

he ido marcando de cruces de fuego

(.)

I wonder at what time of year would be the most comfortable to wear this outfit.

Can't wait til my hair is this long, and at the same time want to chop it all off again.

I'm longing for something new, another addition to the chaos of who I already am.