Tuesday, February 2, 2010

on toughening up and pointlessness

There's been these discussions in my life lately of how pointless fashion blogs/my blog/blogs are in general, and for some reason it's really gotten under my skin. Not sure why, but there you go. The conclusions that I have come to from those musings are these: I need to get a thicker skin, and not give a damn what people think; and yes, they/you are right, my blog is completely and totally pointless.

But I really don't care, because I like it. I like looking at the pictures I've posted, I like posting new pictures, I like writing about silly bullshit like my emotions, I like reading some responses that I get. I guess I've realized that this is more a place for me to document my own compilations of things that inspire/interest/bother/gross me out, so that I can see them in a nice pretty row. I like that. I like seeing that I have readers too, because it fuels the narcissistic delusion that complete strangers give a fuck about what I think is aesthetically pleasing/what I look like/my emotions.

The boyfriend thinks the blog world is creepy. I sort of think so too. It's like we're all either lonely and unsatisfied with our real lives so we have to create this fantasy world of web friends and a cyber personality, or we want to feel famous and known for something. I may or may not feel either of these ways. I think what I want is to project my thoughts and musings into the world and have people listen to them, and pay attention. Of course, not many people do, and for that I am thankful. If they did I would feel self inflated and grandiose. At the same time I am like, fuck you, look at me! I'm just as awesome as all these other people in the world! So I guess that's why I still have this blog, and still post these posts.

The point of this story is, I need to get the fuck over myself, and learn to deal with the haters. If you enjoy my blog, good, I am happy that some part of me can make some part of you think, or be inspired, or even continue your comatose addiction to the streams of repetitive "fashion" blogs suffocating our cyberspaces. If you don't like my blog, me da igual, I don't give a shit, if you don't like it, don't look at it. And, in all honestly, my blog has no content of importance, but I don't give a damn, I am going to keep on writing like I'm writing, and picking photos that I like, and posting here, because I like playing with the narcissist in me.

And to top off this post, here is an unintentionally brooding photo of me in a bathtub, with a french beer.