Sunday, August 17, 2008

Life is for living

This is how I'm feeling now

I'm in Virginia right now, on both sad terms and wonderful ones. The reason for my trip was to attend a memorial service of one of the most amazing women I have had the privilege to know. She was the sort of woman who lived, who really lived. Thinking about her life has made me wonder about my own, and about what life is. Margery's love for the people around her was evident, it was contagious, it was joyful and wonderful and boundless. She was encouraging, never pushy, adventurous, and accepting. What is it that we value, what is the legacy that we would like to leave behind? It may be that the things we value in others, in ourselves, and in our lives is the product of our socialization, of our culture, it may be that there is no pure good, and no pure bad, in the world. But I think it can also be that there are ways of being that are light, that are uplifting and comforting and heartening. Those are the sort of things that I want to be remembered for. I want people to come together at the end of my life to celebrate my life, not to mourn my death. I want to be remembered as someone who enriched the world, who made an exciting and wonderful place for myself and for those around me. Through Margery's death I have been reminded to live, where ever I am, whomever I am with, and however I can. I want to leave this earth with an effervescent beauty that will last long after I am gone. I will do what I love, and love all that I do. I will push the limit, and make new ones when I break the ones I've broken. I'm going to go live.

This trip has also made me realize how much I love my crazy crazy family. And you all, for bearing with my emotional outpourings. MUCH MUCH LOVE!!